Rising Strong-Brené Brown

October 26, 2015

Rising Strong

The truth is that falling hurts. The dare is to keep being brave and feel your way back up. 
We are born makers. We move what we’re learning from our heads to our hearts through our hands. 
When we make the choice to date greatly, we sign up to get our asses kicked. We can choose courage or we can choose comfort, but we can’t have both. Not at the same time.
Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage. 
1. If we are brave enough often enough, we will fall; this is the physics of vulnerability. Daring is saying, “I know I will eventually fail and I’m still all in.”

2. Once we fall in the service of being brave, we can never go back. 

3. This journey belongs to no one but you; however, no one successfully goes it alone. 

4. We’re wired for story. 

-Hearing a story-causes our brains to release cortisol and oxytocin. These chemicals trigger the uniquely human abilities to connect, empathize, and make meaning. Story is literally in our DNA. 

5. Creativity embeds knowledge so that it can become practice. We move what we’re learning from our heads to our hearts through our hands. 

6. Rising strong is the same process whether you’re navigating personal or professional struggles. 

Humans are not either thinking machines or feeling machines, but rather feeling machines that think. 

They have the ability and willingness to lean in to discomfort and vulnerability. 

7. Comparative suffering is a function of fear and scarcity. 

Fear and scarcity trigger comparison. 

The opposite of scarcity is simply enough, not abundance. 

8. You can’t engineer an emotional, vulnerable, and courageous process into an easy, one-size-fits-all formula. 

9. Courage is contagious.

Your experience can profoundly affect the people around you whether you’re aware of it or not. 

10. Rising strong is a spiritual practice. 
The middle is messy, but it’s also where the magic happens. 
You can’t skip day two. It’s a nonnegotiable part of the process. Experience and success don’t give you easy passage through the middle space of struggle. 
The Rising Strong Process

The goal of the process is to rise from our falls, overcome our mistakes, and face hurt in a way that brings more wisdom and wholeheartedness into our lives. 
Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing we’ll ever do. We own our stories do we don’t spend our lives being defined by them or denying them. 
You either walk into your story and own your truth, or you live outside of your story, hustling for your worthiness.
Our bodies respond to emotion first, and they often direct us to shut down or disengage. 
When we deny our stories and disengage from tough emotions, they don’t go away; instead, they own us, they define us. Our job is not to deny the story, but to defy the ending–to rise strong, recognize our story and rumble with the truth until we get to a place where we think, Yes. This is what happened. This is my truth. And I will choose how this story ends. 
“Creativity is the power to connect the seemingly unconnected.” William Plomer
Hurt doesn’t go away simply because we don’t acknowledge it. In fact, left unchecked, it festers, grows, and leads to behaviors that are completely out of line with whom we want to be, and thinking that can sabotage our relationships and careers. 
Even if we have the insight to know that our boss, friend, colleague, or partner blew up at us because something tender was triggered and it’s not actually about us, it still shatters trust and respect. 
The idea that “we’re only as sick as or secrets” is more than an adage; there’s growing empirical evidence that not owning and integrating our stories affects not just our emotional health but also our physical well-being. 
The most dangerous stories we make up are the narratives that diminish our inherent worthiness. We must reclaim the truth about our lovability, divinity, and creativity.
Lovability: Just because someone isn’t willing or able to love us, it doesn’t mean that we are unlovable. 

Divinity: no person is ordained to judge our divinity or to write the story of our spiritual worthiness. 

Creativity and ability: Just because someone failed to see the value in what we can create or achieve doesn’t change its worth or ours. 
We can’t get to our brave new ending if we start from an inauthentic place. 
Shame is a liar and a story-stealer. I have to trust myself and the people I care about more than the gremlins, even if that means risking being hurt. 
Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; choosing what is right over what is fun, fast, or easy; and choosing to practice our values rather than simply professing them. 
When we know better, we do better
We don’t judge people when we feel good about ourselves. 
We don’t compare when we’re feeling good about ourselves; we look for what’s good in others. When we practice self-compassion, we are compassionate toward others. Self-righteousness is just the armor of self-loathing. 
If we think that people really are doing the best they can with the tools they have:

We don’t stop expecting people to grow and change. It means that we stop respecting and evaluating people based on what we think they should accomplish, and start respecting them for who they are and holding them accountable for what they’re actually doing. It means that we stop loving people for who they COULD BE and start loving them for who they ARE. 
It means that sometimes when we’re beating ourselves up, we need to stop and say to that harassing voice inside, “Man, I’m doing the very best I can right now.”
People learn how to treat us based on how they see us treating ourselves. 
We can’t rise strong when we’re on the run. 
We can’t heal if we can’t grieve; we can’t forgive if we can’t grieve. We run from grief because loss scares us, yet our hearts reach toward grief because the broken parts want to mend. 
Expectations are resentments waiting to happen. –Anne Lamott
The more difficult it is for us to articulate our experiences of loss, longing, and feeling lost to the people around us, the more disconnected and alone we feel. 
Forgiveness is not forgetting or walking away from accountability or condoning a hurtful act; it’s the process of taking back and healing our lives so we can truly live. 
We can’t be vulnerable and open with people who are hurting us. 
Connection doesn’t exist without giving and receiving. We need to give and we need to need. 
When you judge yourself for needing help, you judge those you are helping. When you attach value to giving help, you attach value to needing help. 
The danger of tying your self-worth to being a helper is feeling shame when you have to ask for help. 
Offering help is courageous and compassionate, but so is asking for help. 
Stay in your own lane. Comparison kills creativity and joy. 
“No regrets” doesn’t mean living with courage, it means living without reflection. To live without regret is to believe you have nothing to learn, no amends to make, and no opportunity to be braver with your life. 
 Many of us will spend our entire lives…to get to a place where we can give ourselves permission to both be imperfect and to believe we are enough. 
We can’t be brave in the big world without at least one small safe space to work through our fears and falls.
Of all the things trauma takes away from us, the worst is our willingness, or even our ability, to be vulnerable. There’s a reclaiming that has to happen. 
Not caring what people think is a hustle, and it’s not winnable. 
When we stop caring what people think, we lose our capacity for connection. But when we are defined by what people think, we lose the courage to be vulnerable. 
We can’t be “all in” if only parts of us show up. If we’re not living, loving, parenting, or leading with our whole, integrated hearts, we’re doing it halfheartedly. 
There is no greater threat to the critics and cynics and fearmongers than those of us who are willing to fall because we have learned how to rise. 
We are the authors of our lives. We write our own daring endings. (Not sure how I feel on this one……we make the choices, yes but our lives are already written.)
Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted 
There is no greater threat to the critics and cynics and fearmongers

Than those of us who are willing to fall

Because we have learned to rise 
With skinned knees and bruised hearts;

We choose owning our stories of struggle,

Over hiding, over hustling, over pretending.
When we deny our stories, they define us. 

When we run from struggle, we are never free. 

So we turn toward truth and look it in the eye. 
We will not be characters in our stories. 

Not villains, not victims, not even heroes. 
We are the authors of our lives.

We write our own daring endings. 
We craft love from heartbreak,

Compassion from shame,

Grace from disappointment,

Courage from failure. 
Showing up is our power. 

Story is our way home. 

Truth is our song. 

We are the brave and brokenhearted. 

We are rising strong.

Book Review: Dick Van Dyke

August 11, 2012

My Lucky Life In and Out of Show Business

It has been a while since I actually read this book, but I did read it! I got a bit behind on posting my book reviews (and any other kind of post!).

But I did read Dick Van Dyke’s book, My Lucky Life In and Out of Show Business and it was great. In fact, after reading it, I put many of his DVDs on hold at the library so I could watch his show. The way the show was written made the dialogue funny no matter what year it was. There aren’t references to things happening in the world, it is just comedy that works any year that you watch it in. I’d say that is pretty good writing!

Enough about the show though, the book was a pretty quick read and it was cool to see how Van Dyke made his way through his career in entertainment.

I wish I could recall more details from the book but it has been about five months and another five or six books since I read this one! If you like biographies, funny stories or Dick Van Dyke, I’d recommend the book to you. I own it, so if you want to borrow it, I’ll put you on the list! (Right now it is loaned out!)

Cash4Books.net Bonus Available!

August 9, 2012

A long time ago….almost four years ago actually, I wrote a review of my experience with Cash4Books. Since that time I have also been an affiliate with them. If anyone uses my link to send in some books to them and make their own money, I get a few bucks too. Thanks to this money, I have been able to fund my shirt.woot random shirt habit.

Now, through August 31, 2012 you can use this bonus code to get an extra 15%(with a maximum value of $50): AVBC64 s

So check out my review and the video below to learn about Cash4books and then send in your old books and textbooks for some extra money in your pocket!

Book Review: Life Without Limits:Inspiration for a Ridiculously Good Life

June 9, 2012

Life Without Limits

I can’t believe I haven’t posted about this book! I saw part of a talk that Nick Vujicic gave at Northland Church (Thanks to the power of online worship viewing.). After seeing part of it and finding out he had a book, I knew I wanted to read it. I immediately went online to our library and reserved the only copy that is in our county. A few days later it arrived at my local library and I picked it up. I read through it pretty quickly, as it was a book that I just had to know what happens next. I’ve recently been on a  kick of reading true stories/biography type books and this one is amazing. Just to see how positive Nick is after the obstacles that he has to deal with; it makes much in my own life seem trivial. Sure he had many times of struggle and depression but he has seen the light at the other end and has an amazing faith in God.

Nick has another book coming out later this year and I look forward to reading it. If you need to read an uplifting book, check this one out. You will be amazed by what Nick has accomplished in his life with no arms and no legs.

Crocheted Softies Book

January 2, 2012

The other day I got another fun surprise in the mail! I won another giveaway from Sew, Mama, Sew’s Giveaway week. This giveaway was from Vegan Craftastic. I won Crocheted Softies, a book about how to crochet 18 different cute little animals. Since I don’t know how to crochet, I was planning to give the book to my mom if I won. So, I have passed the book along to her and hope that she will learn to make a few of the creatures inside. There is a cute little fish and octopus. I think both of them, along with the crab would be fun additions to the beach house.

Crocheted Softies

Thanks Vegan Craftastic and Sew, Mama, Sew for having the giveaways!

Book Review: Hunger Games Series

October 15, 2011

The Hunger Games Series

Everyone was reading The Hunger Games…but I said, nope, not gonna do it. And then I did. I had read the synopsis and didn’t think it would be interesting to read about kids fighting each other and killing each other. Amy started reading it and said, no you really should give it a try. So I did. And I read the first book in about two days!

Books two and three were not yet available in paperback, so we managed to borrow them from the library. Once Amy finished Catching Fire, I had it read in just a few days too. I could hardly believe that I wanted to read the books so much. They are well written and quick reads that leave you wanting to never put it down until it is over! I finally got to the last book and must say that, as with the first two books, for the most part things were unpredictable. I never saw the twists coming and it was great.

I was a bit surprised that the books are written for fifth graders and am even more surprised that they are making a movie of it. I don’t think I need to watch the movie….I know what happens…and often times movies will ruin the world you created in your head as you were reading the book.

If you are looking for a interesting and quick read, try The Hunger Games series. Just make sure you give the first book a chance…I wasn’t too sure during the first few chapters (which is when I usually give up on a book) but I gave it a chance and I’m glad I did. 🙂

Book Review: Still Growing

September 25, 2011

Still Growing

I read Still Growing back in the beginning of summer. I barely remember Growing Pains but I do remember Kirk Cameron. I’ve also seen FireProof, one of his more recent movies.

When I saw he had written an autobiography, I decided to check it out. The library happened to have this book too, so I added it to my hold list and it came up pretty quick. Overall it was a pretty quick read.

I thought it was interesting to see some of how he grew up and got into acting. It was also cool to see how becoming a Christian played a role in how he would accept roles. He also used his influence in the show, Growing Pains, to change part of the story line because he didn’t agree with it. I already knew how in the movie FireProof his character kisses his wife. Because of the strong views and feelings he and his real life wife had about this, the characters’ kiss in the film was actually done with his real life wife but in silhouette. What a great example to others and a great testimony to share.

If you are interested in seeing how his beliefs shaped him and his career, this could be a good read for you.